Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Will Cutting the Guest List Save on Wedding Costs?



With the average wedding costing in the region of £25,000, many couples actively look at ways to save money on their big day. Sites such as UK Wedding Savings offer lots of useful tips, but one easy way to cut the cost of getting married is to keep a tight rein on your guest list. After all, do you really need to invite 500+ to the wedding?

It’s a Costly Affair
The more people you invite to your wedding, the more it will cost you. Bigger weddings need more space. All you really need are you, your fiancé, and two witnesses, but most people prefer to have at least some family and friends present to witness their union. However, once the guest list start creeping up into the hundreds, costs will spiral out of control.

Hundreds of guests will need a mountain of food and drink to keep them fed and watered on the day. Large wedding parties also require more space at the reception, so a simple BBQ in the back garden isn’t going to cut it. You also need to consider the size of the church if you are planning a religious ceremony. The more people you invite, the more likely it is that your wedding ceremony will be standing room only, with unlucky late arrivals forced to stand outside.

The truth is that you simply can’t afford to invite everyone and their plus one to your wedding. It may be painful to start going through your wedding guest list with a red pen, but unless you have an unlimited budget or Bernie Ecclestone as your father, it is time to be ruthless.

Make a List
Start off by making a list. Include everyone you would like to invite if money was no object. You both need to make your own lists, as you each have your own friends and family to consider. Next, split the list into two sub-lists: family and close friends, and then friends and acquaintances.

Make the Cut
Family and close friends have to make the cut, for obvious reasons. However, in the case of family, you really don’t need to invite distant relatives you haven’t seen for twenty years, unless your parents insist and they are paying the bill.

With regard to friends and acquaintances, consider how close you are to these people. Do you really need to invite work colleagues? Unless you socialise with them regularly, probably not. The same applies to your boss, although it can be polite to invite a boss, plus you are guaranteed a decent wedding gift.

Do not feel guilty about not inviting people you are not friends with. It is unlikely to cause offence if they know you are getting married on a budget. The same applies to asking people to leave their children at home. Kids eat and take up a seat, so they cost you money if they come to the reception.

Just because someone invites you to their wedding, it doesn’t necessarily follow that you must invite them to yours. It is your day after all, so stand your ground and do it your way.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

a Fall Reading List: Warm Up from the Inside Out



William Nicholson wrote, "We read to know we're not alone."  Whether we're living the stories of imaginary character created in the mind of the author or whether we are sharing emotions and past experiences of the author's own life, the books we love the best are those whose words tear down the walls we put around our life and tie us to a time, a place, a thought, a dream.  These are the stories we come back to time and time again.  They bring comfort to the broken places in our lives.  They bring friendship to our loneliness.

Somehow, these words we use to make stories bring connectedness.  We finally realize we're not alone.  The grief we feel from loss is normal.  The loneliness we feel happens to other people.  The insecurities we live with remind us that we're all human.  The joy we feel is normal too.  The joy comes from the lessons we learned in the stories--ours and theirs.

Here's a look at what I'm reading this fall and where you can take them home with you.






What about you?  Do you have any must read books on your reading list?  Share with us.







Link Ups

Friday, September 9, 2016

The Freedom to Abide

Last year my sister, Dalayna, asked me to join a team of her friends that were starting a unique work.  It's an online magazine called The Pearl Press.  This month is the one year anniversary of the launch that that endeavor.  I am so proud of this group of women who are seeking the face of God and have a desire to be molded into His image.

Last month, I shared this post on their magazine, but I thought I would share it with you today.  I hope it blesses your heart and compels you to abide in Christ and in all He created you to be.



One of the most difficult challenges we will ever be forced to face is a challenge we see everyday.  We stare into her eyes.  We hate many of the things she does.  As a matter of fact, we often tell her how much we hate her for the ignorant decisions she makes.  Does she listen?  Usually not.  Instead, we find her a week or two later right back in the same broken place.

We tried to tell her.  We tried to warn her.  We tried our best to get her to listen.  We flapped our arms and raised our voice.  We even slapped her around just a little bit--not much though--just enough to get her to stop.

She's always doing it:

Over-scheduling.
Over-committing.
Over-eating.
Over-spending.
Over-working.

Oh, but the list goes on.

She doesn't work out enough.
She's a procrastinator.
She talks too much.
She makes herself look like an idiot.
She doesn't spend enough time with her family.
She doesn't cook home meals.
She doesn't invite people over to her house.
She doesn't take vacations.
She doesn't keep her house spotless.

And to top it all off, she drives way too fast and passes over-sized loads on the shoulder.

The worst challenge, the most difficult person we will ever be forced to face, is That Woman we stare at everyday in the mirror.

She's a sly one, That Woman, and far too often we find ourselves in a love/hate relationship with the eyes staring back at us in the morning as we brush our teeth.

I'm not here today writing to compel you to accept That Woman and love her completely as she is.  I think we should all love ourselves.  We should all accept our personality.  We should all accept our flaws, but we also have to remember that we are all on a journey to become more like Christ--to become less like ourselves and more like Him. (click to tweet

Paul wrote in Romans 7:15, "I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate."  Sometimes we do live out the actions we hate.  We're human.  We mess up and sometimes a lot.  But it's in this journey, this walk up a long hill, that I really want to write about today.

Last week, I found myself sitting at a table with a group of women at a retreat.  I love all of these women so much.  We have too much fun.  Literally, too much fun.  The retreat center was very large and there were multiple retreats happening at the same location.  We all had separate living quarters, but we shared the dining hall.  One of the other retreats that occurred on the same camp ground was a men's retreat.

We're sitting at this table and in walk the gentlemen.  I'm not the only single woman at the retreat, but the odds were definitely against me.  It's just kind of a joke that most "still single" woman (and especially in the church) have to face is the uh-which-one-do-you-like game.  For the most part, I'm fine with it.  It's just for fun.  Plus, I have my share of celebrity and not celebrity crushes too.  The rouse is usually the same.  I say in a hushed voice, "Maybe table 2, but let me show you a picture of who I'm really after."

It's always great fun.  Everybody always laughs.  By the end of the conversation it's usually very loud.

After the guffawing quieted down I sat back in my seat and look around the table I was sitting at.  It felt like every single eye was on me judging me.

Now, I know they weren't.  I know those woman love me.  I know they value me.  And I love and value them.  But there was something about the stillness of their eyes that made me feel about three inches tall.  And then I said, under my breath, "I just hate when I make myself feel like a fool."

And I do.  I hate that.  I do it a lot, but I hate it.  I hate that action about myself.  But, I'm working on it.  

On this life journey there has to be a level of grace that we extend to ourselves.  We have to give ourself grace grow.  We have to give ourself grace to take the journey.  We're not going to get everything right all the time.  In fact, we're going to get life and this journey wrong most of the time.  Still, we have to give ourself grace to develop into the women of God we are called to be.

We can only live in that grace when we start to accept who we are in Christ and to abide in That Truth.  We have to live in That Truth. (click to tweet)  

I love what Ann Voskamp wrote about the practicing of abiding in Christ.  She wrote:
Abide. Because it's never about your capabilities. When you're in covenant with Christ, it's His responsibility to cover your cracks, to be all your competency and completeness. Inabilities, in Christ, are made all-sufficient, just-right abilities. Abandon worry--and wholly abide.
Jesus said it Himself in John 15:17, "Abide in Me, and I will abide in you. Just as no branch can bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you bear fruit unless you abide in Me. I am the vine and you are the branches. The one who abides in Me, and I in him, will bear much fruit. For apart from Me you can do nothing."

There's a freedom that comes from recognizing and accepting that without Christ I can do nothing.  There is equal freedom in recognizing and accepting that in Christ I can do all things.  In the journey, we all have roles to take.  We all have positions to play, but ours is never to judge ourselves or others.  Our role is never to lead.  It's always to rest.  It's always to follow.  It's always to abide.

When we give grace to ourselves and accept That Truth and learn to abide--to rest-- in Christ, it sure does make That Woman easier to live with on this journey of grace and abiding.