I've struggled with writing this post for a number of reasons. First, if I write this post and someone reads it, a lot about my own person will be public. I don't like that. Second, it's just hard to write because I'm still battling the internal consequences of this encounter.
Two summers ago, I found myself in a terrible disagreement with one of my dearest friends. Really it was just a difference of opinion, but I was so stubborn refusing to allow her opinion. I still believe I'm right. She still believes she's right. No one is ever going to change either of our opinions.
In the end, that relationship was severed for quite sometime. The circumstances revolving around our disagreement are not important to the story so I will spare you those details. To say that our relationship has been tense is an extreme understatement.
Over the last couple of years she has asked to meet with me. Each time I declined, and with good reason too, but about two months ago, I reconnected with her over a Saturday brunch.
As I sat across the table from her, she recounted the stories of her world traveling, of the lives that she'd touched, of new relationships formed and lost. I looked across the table at a lady that I no longer knew. I could remember the joys of our friendship. I could remember the activities and the places. I remember long nights in the dorm room studying, watching tv, eating guacamole chips, but as I looked at this face I wept on the inside...
...and I missed our friendship.
I missed her.
She has become a remarkable young woman and one that I value and respect, but I don't know her.
But here's what I know now. None of my stubbornness and none of my strong willed attitude is worth the loss of this friendship--of any friendship. It's just not worth it.
True friendship is a blessing. And how rare it is. To find a person who will never judge you. To find a person who will hold your deepest, darkest stories as her own secrets.
Here's the deal...
Friendship is always worth the cost.
Friendship is always worth just dropping it.
Friendship is always worth forgiving.
Friendship is worth it all.Friendship is worth the uncomfortable encounters.
In actuality, our relationship will probably never be the same, and that's fine. But I will work to build that friendship again and hope and pray that we can again laugh and remember the past with joy even those few years of complication.