Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Why I Believe Friendship is Always Worth It




I've struggled with writing this post for a number of reasons.  First, if I write this post and someone reads it, a lot about my own person will be public.  I don't like that.  Second, it's just hard to write because I'm still battling the internal consequences of this encounter.

Two summers ago, I found myself in a terrible disagreement with one of my dearest friends.  Really it was just a difference of opinion, but I was so stubborn refusing to allow her opinion.  I still believe I'm right.  She still believes she's right.  No one is ever going to change either of our opinions.

In the end, that relationship was severed for quite sometime. The circumstances revolving around our disagreement are not important to the story so I will spare you those details.  To say that our relationship has been tense is an extreme understatement.

Over the last couple of years she has asked to meet with me.  Each time I declined, and with good reason too, but about two months ago, I reconnected with her over a Saturday brunch.

As I sat across the table from her, she recounted the stories of her world traveling, of the lives that she'd touched, of new relationships formed and lost.  I looked across the table at a lady that I no longer knew.  I could remember the joys of our friendship.  I could remember the activities and the places.  I remember long nights in the dorm room studying, watching tv, eating guacamole chips, but as I looked at this face I wept on the inside...

...and I missed our friendship.  

I missed her.  

She has become a remarkable young woman and one that I value and respect, but I don't know her.

But here's what I know now.  None of my stubbornness and none of my strong willed attitude is worth the loss of this friendship--of any friendship.  It's just not worth it.

True friendship is a blessing.  And how rare it is.  To find a person who will never judge you.  To find a person who will hold your deepest, darkest stories as her own secrets.

Here's the deal...
          Friendship is always worth the cost.
Friendship is always worth just dropping it.   
Friendship is always worth forgiving.  
Friendship is worth the uncomfortable encounters.  
             Friendship is worth it all.

In actuality, our relationship will probably never be the same, and that's fine.  But I will work to build that friendship again and hope and pray that we can again laugh and remember the past with joy even those few years of complication.

46 comments:

  1. Such a great post. With an important reminder to cherish our friendships. Thank you for this!

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  2. I'm so sorry. :/ i know that must be hard and part of the reason i know that is because that's happened to me. And I completely agree with you that friendship is worth it. It just stinks when the other person doesn't think it's worth it.

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    Replies
    1. Totally stinks. For a long time I was the person who didn't try to mend the relationship.

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  3. I have lost a few friendships due to stubbornness on both sides. Looking back now, it seems silly and trivial. I so admire you for putting this out there, and for trying to make it work. Mine won't ever be the same, but I am determined not to let it happen again. {hugs} to you! :)

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    Replies
    1. Hugs to you! Thanks. I just have to keep working on it.

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  4. really pretty post...tho sometimes you just have to let ppeople go. maybe not your case, but in my case i tried and tried and finally had to let go..

    =)
    dailylivingingeneva.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very true. Sometimes it's just better that way.

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  5. Great post. Give your girl some love because friends are the family you get to pick. Don't lose them

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  6. I have a similar friendship that was lost and is slowing coming back around again. I have missed it terribly! Thanks for sharing your story. Thank you also for stopping by my place today~new follower for you!
    Angie

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  7. Great post, Danette. My childhood best friend and I fell away from each other, too, and I miss her dearly. Though I've tried reconnecting, it just doesn't seem to be working out. I've decided that, if the Lord is willing to work in both of our hearts, maybe the friendship can be reconciled some day. But if not then I wish her well, every day, and I remember the wonderful impact she's had on my life. It's ok to mourn, too.

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  8. Great post! Its like you knew I needed to hear that! Thanks!!!

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  9. I had a wonderful relation with my then best friend. Some things happen and no matter what happened, it didn't work out. I'm glad that in your situation you were able to reconnect with your friend. Maybe one day, if we are lucky, we can too.

    Thank you for this post.

    ride-thspiral.blogpsot.com

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  10. Such a great post and very well put. Thanks for the reminder!

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  11. You have no idea how much this post meant to me. As I read it I cried! Yet another reason why i love your blog!
    Thanks for being willing to open up and share your experience!

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  12. I love this post! I was just talking to a friend about friendships and how they change.

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  13. Such a beautiful post, thanks for sharing! Stopping by from GFC Blog Hop and your newest follower. Vikki xx

    Here is my blog: http://www.littlelovesblog.co.uk

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  14. I went through something very similar in college. It's taken time, but the relationship can be repaired. Loved this post.

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  15. This post rings so true for me right now. A friend and I had a falling out a few years ago. A (formerly) very, very close friend. I decided earlier this year that I really wanted to reach out, but I wanted to make it more personal than a phone call/e-mail, so I asked a mutual friend for my lost friend's address. He moved halfway across the country. And just that alone made me realize how much I've missed out on. His wedding, which I knew I was missing, but then moving away from the place he called home for almost his entire life... and I wasn't there for that.

    Haven't heard a response since I sent a letter a month ago, so I tried calling again this morning and he did not pick up. Guess we'll see how this works out, but you can bet I regret cutting him out years ago. There's just so much I've missed.

    Anyway, thanks for this.

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    Replies
    1. I hope it encouraged you and that you continue to find lasting friendships. <3

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  16. Oh Dannette! What an incredible testimony of friendship lost and rekindled. Thank you for sharing, for inspiring!

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