naked


Three different things happened today that led me to this post. (here, here, & here.)  This is not something I want to write about.  In fact, writing about it puts me in an extremely vulnerable place.  I've chosen to live my life always keeping one thing in mind.  "Never let them see you sweat."

Tonight I'm going to.  I'm taking the veil down of the proud, strong, feministic lady (hopefully you think of me as that) and be open and insanely real.

I've always felt that the real test of friendship is when you can be completely naked with someone--not physically, but emotionally.  As a culture, clothing has become, in some ways, optional.  But those private places...the places that have to be revealed by choice...the internal dimensions of our mind, soul, and spirit are locked away behind the closed door of our own will.

In my life, I think I've only been completely transparent with maybe one person.  Even then, I'm certain there were thoughts that were left unrevealed.  Maybe because of wrong motives that just seemed too ugly.  Maybe just because...

But all that aside.  Here's goes nothing.

I love my life and I love being me, but I hate being judge for being fat.
I love my life and I love being me, but I hate being single.
I love my life and I love being me, but I hate the internal clicker inside my head.
I love my life and I love being me, but I hate being underestimated and overlooked because of my gender, weight, facial beauty and hair color especially in my profession.
I love my life and I love being me, but I hate feeling small, insignificant, unimportant.
I love my life and I love being me, but I hate all the financial debt I incurred in college and even after.

My parents taught me that there were no limitations and that God's plan for my life is bigger than I can imagine or think.  I believe they are right.  God's plan for me is bigger than I can imagine or think, but the limitations...they had that wrong.

When I look at that list of insecurities above, all I see are limitations.  All of them are keeping me from being completely who God wants me to be.
It's almost as if every single one of those limitations are staring, putting their long, nasty finger, and laughing in my face.

Truthfully, we do have limitations.  Some we put on ourselves.  Others are perceived limitations.  Still, others are limitations projected onto us by others.  The key here is not let the limitations limit us.  Oxymoronic?  Yes, but true nonetheless.

I'm reminded of the story of Moses, sitting in the hot, rocky hills of the desert.  It was there that God called him to go back to Egypt and be the deliver of God's chosen people--the Israelites   Moses had many limitations, that in his mind, should have prevented him from being the one to go.

But God had been preparing Moses.  He had spared his life from the mass execution of thousands of Hebrew baby boys.  He miraculous provided for Moses to be raised and educated in the palace.  He helped him safely escape Egypt after he had killed an Egyptian guard.  He had cared for Moses in that desert.  He even made a way for Moses, who had a speech impediment, to not have to speak!  (Who knows.  Maybe Moses was also fat, blonde, and handsome too.  Now that'd be ironic.)

All of these things seemed like limitations to Moses, but to God it was his preparation.

As I'm preparing to begin this new year (that's assuming that the world doesn't end on Friday), I'm prayerful considering what New Years Resolutions I'm going to take own.  There are a few that I'm certain, 100%, adding to the list, but then there are others that are a little more complex.  They are more complex because I feel like God is using them to lead me to into my destiny.  Those are not goals to take lightly.

More than I want anything, I want need the presence and power of God working in my everyday life.  I've got to have Him with me.

But besides that, I feel like I've got to remove the limitations.  (Maybe I should dye my hair brown...Just kidding.)  My insecurities are not an excuse for my destiny to be limited.

Will you join me?  I'm choosing to love life and to love the journey.  And to work desperately, as if my life depended on it, to not live in the limitations.

Funny thing...my life, the life I really want, does depend on it.

18 comments

  1. Hola Danette!
    The best day of my life is when I became naked with myself :) Stopping by the Not Quite there Yet hop to say hola...already a GFC reader of your ;)

    ~SimplyyMayra
    www.simplyymayra.com

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    1. Thanks for stopping by! Isn't it interesting to find everybody who's "not there yet?"

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  2. Great post.

    I also hate that we are judged for our gender, weight, hair, beauty, age, etc. It happens more than people care to realize.

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    1. Very true, but that's not going to limit us. :)

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  3. Oh Danette! This is an incredibly vulnerable post! Wow! I agree that there are limitations set by others, and set by us, and the perceived limitations. But, there are no limitations when we say, "God, use me however you want." Because He will. He moves mountains. Looking forward to being on your journey with you-through your blog! Hugs!

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    1. Amen. Nothing's impossible for Him.

      You are such an encouragement.

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  4. I am laying in bed on the verge of tears! So many things you said resonate deep within me. I hate to admit it, but the last 2 weeks I had to stop worrying about losing weight because I had bigger things on the table (metaphorically). During this time I realized how much people are judging me by my physique and it nearly debilitated me. I felt like I was doing SOOO much else, but because I hadn't lost an additional 5 pounds I was worthless. Reading this has helped me deal with it, or at least realize how I'm going to deal with it. God made us beautiful, and for His purpose, and if I'm doing things because of everyone else I'm not doing them for Him.

    My New Years resolution is to hide the scripture in my heart...yup scripture memory. Take that skinny judgmental people!

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    1. I'm very happy this helped you. Keep going. You CAN do it. No limitations. :)

      See you Sunday?

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  5. I completely understand and resonate with what you have said. I think we as women all experience these vulnerabilities. Don't let others tell you what you're capable of, and don't let anyone hold you back. Do what makes you happy and never look back.


    Out of curiosity, what is it that you do for a living?

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    1. I'm a creative arts pastor. Obviously a male dominated profession.

      Thank you for being a faithful reader. I'm glad we're connecting.

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    2. Oh yeah, definitely male dominated. I hate the stereotypes placed.

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  6. what a beautiful post and you are amazing for doing it I'm not so sure i could. thank you for being you

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  7. Wow, Thank you for writing that post! I really appreciate and honor your vulnerability and nakedness!

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  8. Oh girlie, you've got it down. The feeling of limitations, that is. I have to remind myself over and over again that my identity and ability is in CHRIST! Otherwise I am way too limited.

    Thanks for linking up to Desire to Inspire!

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  9. I’ll surely join you and I really appreciate your work.

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  10. Beautiful post! I can really relate, I think all women can. I'm a single mum and the only one in a family full of skinny people that has a weight issue, so I certainly know what judgement is all about...lol...I have begun to realise over the last few years though, that those judgements can only hurt me if I start to believe them myself.

    I've already made a deal with myself to live a better life next year, to be the me I want to and not let negativity stop me from following my path. I'll definitely be stopping by here more...love and hugs to you xx

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